Mr. Bus Driver!

It just so happened that I got assigned to travel down to Bangalore, alright, Bengaluru if you must, to drive the all new Volvo B9R 9400 bus. It's the latest offering from Volvo Bus India Pvt. Ltd and I should mention that it also happens to be the largest and most powerful bus available in India today.

It is hard to control the excitement that comes with the offer to drive a bus. I, for one have been an avid bus lover and there is a certain aura about these behemoths that make them so crave-worthy for auto enthusiasts. Let alone the fact that I have secretly harboured the intention of getting my hands on a bus, any bus for that matter, when lady luck smiled upon me, I was offered to drive the best, biggest and most powerful one so far!

Bus driving isn't about speed. Now I don't need to tell you that. What it really does drain out of a driver is the ability to make his way through traffic. Luckily for me (and my insurance company..hehehe) I was driving the B9R 9400 on a test track near the Volvo Bus factory. This bus comes fitted with a 9 litre, 350 Bhp engine that churns out more than 1600 Nm of torque, so I truely got more than I bargained for.

I managed to do 2 laps of the 2.5 km course plus a little extra in terms of driving it back to the 'lunch-stop'. Around 7km is all i managed to get on my log book, but it is a memory that I will take to the grave. The sheer mass, when it moves is so fluid and I was taken aback by how easy it is to drive this around the track. Not once did my wheels leave the tarmac, and when you consider that I was navigating a 13.7 metre long vehicle around a hairpin bend, that is pretty damn good for day 1 in bus driving school!

Now I managed to hit only 4th gear and reach only 45 km/h on the speedo, but it was an exhilirating experience none the less. Shifting gears at 1200-1500 rpm, using the retarder to slow down and accelerating on the straights while keeping an eye out on the rear view mirrors to ensure that the bus is in line and positioned well on the road. Going around corners was what my main worry was, but the trick is to use the rear view mirrors to make that rear judgement and in doing so keep the wheels planted on the road. Of course it would have been a whole different experience to drive this bus in traffic, but honestly I don't think I am ready for that yet. Maybe I need to enroll in the Volvo Bus Driving School first, get a certificate and then pursue a side business of inter-city coach driving!!

Anyway, having driven a bus, it is one topic I can cross off from my long list of "Things to do before I die"....now to get my hands on a Abrams Tank!

The French Countryside, A GPS system, and Cows..

With my sojourn at the Paris Motor Show over and done with, its time for me to enjoy a day drive out to the city of Le Havre and Dieppe located somewhere towards the northwest of France ( provided I have my directions in order).

Wasting no more time, I step into my ride, a beautiful Volkswagen Touareg R50, which shall be my chariot as I make my way through the French wide open. But the countryside will come later, first I had to leave the city of Paris and make my way to the open highways that beckons me to unleash the entire 350 PS of energy that I have at my right foot's disposal.

With all that exictement packed in and looking forward for a fun day, I fired up the V10 turbo diesel mill and then began to patiently follow the directions blurted out to me in a sultry female voice from the GPS system installed in the SUV. Now, a female voice giving directions to a healthy male ego is not one of the best ideas on the planet, but since I don't speak an ounce of French, I figured that the 'guy' way of just winging it would be rather futile and therefore listening to the GPS is essential. Letting go of my ego, and making do with the fact that in some morbid manner it is rather fun to talk back to the 'GPS lady', I managed to make my way out of Paris, without getting lost too many times! Thank god and the GPS system for recalibrating a new route to my destination within nano-seconds, so that the 'lost' isn't permanent :)

So, after a rather animated one sided discussion with the GPS lady, I finally found my bearings and was out on a nice French highway heading towards an unknown destination called Le Havre. The weather was brilliant-overcast skies, light drizzle, and temperatures touching 6.5 degrees
Celcius to which I was oblivious to thanks to the brilliant climate control system on board.

I was excited, of that there is no doubt, for this really is an experience to have-open country roads, nice straights, little or insignificant traffic, and an amazing SUV to enjoy all this in. I was also excited about driving through the 'French villages' that our friends in Paris promised. But I was in for a let down, for as I made my way out of the city, I suddenly felt as though the Touareg was my only solace, my island in the middle of the 'land of grass and cows'.

That's right, grass and cows, everywhere. I was getting the feeling that the French too might be religious about their cows! I mean, these beasts were healthy, clean looking, and had that aura of bovine supremacy! Cows with attitude I tell ya. In fact, these animals were so stuck up that they refused to sleep out on the open highways, like the bovine beasts we have back in India. These French versions, if I may call them that insist on having their own land! Alright, a bit overboard, but you get the idea. India could learn a thing or two in Cow control from the French....

Anyway, back to soaking in the beauty of the French countryside. So the lush green grass and the rolling hillocks sort of swept by as i cruised along at approximately 120 km/h. It is autumn after all, and the trees had those multi colored hues that we associate with a smile and a gentle 'Aw'. I was yet to see a French Village though. Anyway, we made it to Le Havre for lunch. This coastal town was beautiful and though I didn't have time to totter around town and get a sight seeing tour, I can tell ya, its one of those James Bond locations where he meets a gorgeous dame and ..yeah..you know the rest. :)

After a rather late lunch ( it took over two hours to get through that 5 course meal), I could still taste the snails in my mouth (not bad actually, however they are an acquired taste) and since I was driving, I couldn't really wash all this French cuisine down with some classic wine. Anyway, it was back to the road for me.

Leaving Le Havre for Dieppe, I was finally off the highway network and would now be using the state routes to travel. These are the roads that ran through villages, I told myself...and sure enough, soon after I left the town of Le Havre there was a village. Unfortunately for the untrained eye, this place might come across as a set of villas surrounding a church in some exclusive locale, but believe me, these were french villages! The pain, the agony, I was looking for something with a bit more cultural heritage, if I may say so, not some small cluster of modern houses with Peugots parked outside. Anyway, the distress of not seeing Villages was soon lost as I approached Dieppe.

The land was flat, yet the ocean was a few hundred feet below. It was then realized that the road was literally on the edge of a rigde overlooking the ocean! Breathtaking and very Bond like again, except James would most probably be attacking the enemy in such a locale. of course the babe would be around requiring the rescuing but James would be fighting using all of Q's gadgetry. However, I am Vikram, not James, and the only damsel I had for company had gone quiet, as she had no directions to give me out here on a single road that ran for a coupla hunderd kilometers!

Dieppe was a quick pit stop and a tank up on gas, from where I proceeded back towards Paris. The dash towards the city was done as nightfall began. The setting sun, the images of open land and crisp chilly air all made for a great memory, which I am sure to cherish and tell stories about in the future, but right about now, all that I really had in my mind was the thought of some fine French red wine to enjoy after my day long drive......

Motor Show Madness!

I have just returned from the Paris Motor Show, and as expected, there were over 90 new cars unvieled at the event! 90 new cars, I mean, wow right? So, what this boils down to, especially if you have only one day, or more specifically 9 hours to manage all this in, is that you have to view 10 cars an hour, or roughly one car every 6 minutes.

Now, to make these figures a bit more interesting, you have to account for food stops, loo breaks, walking from one hall to the other, photography, a bit of chit chat with officials at a stall, shopping for model cars and of course the stealing glances at the models located at various stands. All these activities roughly add up to 3 hours of your day, which now means you have 6 hours to check out 90 cars! Do the math, and you realize that in effect you are stuck with only 4 minutes per car! That my friend is an actual rush job!

So what does it take to manage all this? Advance preperation. If you are already in a gym or go for long walks, you are in a better state of affairs than I am, but then again, I ain't the atheletic type and that is most probably why I choose automobiles as my mode of transportation as, say a bicycle. Anyway, its not about my health here, but the sheer requirements to handle a busy Motor Show schedule.

The holy grail of attending a motor show boils down to the shoes on your feet. This singular item could either make you or break you. 2 years ago, I chose to attend the Paris Motor Show in formals. This was possibly the worst idea of my life, save for going shopping with two women at the same time, but you get the idea. So, shoes are very important, nicely worn in, comfortable and reliable is what you need to take along.

Secondly, an i-pod would be handy. Music has a rejuvinating ability, and what better to walk to than music of your choice ( plus this was France and everyone spoke french, so understanding anything was out of the question).

Finally, you need a roller bag. This mainly applies to journalists who require presskits from all stalls. At the end of the day, you find yourself lugging around 10-15 kilos of press material that will come handy at the time of writing stories.....so it's better to have them in a bag, than in your arms ( which will most probably lead to you to collapse under the excessive weight!)

Other tips would include, having a layout map of all the halls, and a working cellphone, incase you get lost!

Prepare well, for you have to capitalize on those 4 minutes...else you shall be left behind in the madness....